It Was Never You...It really wasn't...
And I know that I can twist this truth as much as I want...
Whenever I'm sober, when I know I can put up that fake plastic smile;
Just a few formal words that burn like acid from a liar's lips!
"Differences in personality, a divergence in ideals..."
Please, fucking, SPARE ME!
Because when I look in this mirror, I know.
When I see myself looking back at me, I know.
Right here, right in front of my own blackened self;
Those eyes that both reflect and stare into my dingy soul.
I was the problem.
I was the instigator.
I was the perpetrator.
And when I had broken every last bit of her,
I was the one, who let it all fall to pieces.
So please, you don't have to feel sorry for me,
I am a bastard and I've got a very special place in hell waiting for me...
- Word of Chen, Darkest Hour, 16th February 2015
A letter to my exI never asked you for the moon or the stars
All I ever wanted was the key to your heart.
I tried to save this but my efforts were in vain
At the end all I got was nothing but pain.
Goodbye to the dreams and plans together
Goodbye to the lazy days inside on rainy weather
Although I suffered I am thankful for the experience
I now have time to enjoy my existence
You never noticed I was slipping away
Unfortunately when you did it was too late.
I don’t know if it was God or destiny
but all I can say is I now for once in a long time feel nothing but serenity.
I love youAs the world broke apart
I saw the cracks in your heart
open just enough for me to sneak through
so that maybe you would let me love you
Hiding in the depths of your worries and your fears
I whisper comfort into your heart's ears
listening to the pound of your chest
the heave of your nervous breathe
I'll protect you, I'll love you
cover you in the stars of the sky
blanket you in pitch black night
the moon is our only light
The fire of your heart gives me heat
The calm of your eyes soothes my pain
the sound of your voice massages my aches
And your gentle touch wipes away scars
I need you, I can't protect you
I can't give you the stars
I can't give you the night
the moon wanes it's lights
The only the I can do and I'll ever do
is love you
It's only thing a human can truly give
The one thing I can promise for as long as I live
Oh how I hate the starsOh how I hate the stars
plaguing me each night
with cruel honesty
of their light
of how they hang
so far away,
nooses choking my hopes
with all they weigh.
Oh, how the stars hate me
to shoot through,
and away from me
carrying with them
wishes I'll never see.
how the horrors of your light
blind me when I look to you
for something each night.
But with the coming of each day
I always forget
and every night
I'm forced to regret
when I look to your light.
Oh, how the stars hate me
and how I hate the stars
for the things which I see.
Don't become an artistFor you will look at love as abstract art.
You will look at the sky as a canvas to paint your heart
Feel raindrops ink your skin with poetry.
You will draw curves out of straight lines
You will make sense out of slant rhyme
Call empty space, a place to contemplate
And fill walls with kaleidoscope memories
You will inject beats in your veins
And get high on good music
You will dance to the pitter-patter of rain
and sing of melancholy and pain
You will taste ink in your first kiss
After which, you’ll ask the weirdest questions.
You will make a carbon copy of the intellectual conversations
You had on your first date.
You will see depth in his eyes
Depth, you’re ready to fall into.
You will love his every word-Truth or lies
For you will be a victim to metaphors and similies.
You will live in your tiny world of stories
And when someone out there, outside your own bubble
Of profound thoughts and fantasies
Share the same story, you let them write yours too.
You let them read your
I'd Rather Be DeadYou're always asking me if I had anything worth dying for.
I'll pose the opposite to you and ask you this:
"Why is it that you find life to be worth living?"
Is it so interesting to go through each day feeling anxious?
To the point that you feel nauseated enough to collapse.
Is it so joyous to spend each night staring at a blank ceiling,
Hearing the clock tick on toward morning,
And yet you lie awake.
Tired, but awake, emotionless, but awake...
Do you truly get up each day, facing it with optimism.
Or do you look at the news and the state of the world,
And genuinely fear for your safety?
Now, if it were me that you had asked my dear,
I'd tell you quite honestly: That I'd rather be dead.
At least I would not have to hear the white lie inside my head.
That tomorrow will bring me a 'better' day...
But of course, you are welcome to believe that.
You've Gone Far EnoughHow many times have you tried, just to put me down,
The last time I remember, I was underground.
And even then I rose up, just to challenge the greats.
You might be thinking that your wins are all a part of your fate;
But it's not!
You're a little puppet in the game,
And when you try to take me out, you'll be feeling the strain!
I will be breathing down your neck and it's offense;
No nonsense. I am the Word of Chen, execution commence!
And now you're feeling the pressure, I'll make you suffer;
Your words try to cut me, but you're bleeding your brother!
You don't recognize that I'm the one who paved your way;
And now you're crying, sweating bullets, while you kneel and pray-
I don't find you. You're scared! Your soul is bared,
The only thing that makes us different is the fact that I cared!
But it don't matter now boy! You can laugh and smile,
Because the only thing left is to burn you in a Word of Chen style.
- Chennie, 21st October 2014
~<3 I Love All Of My Watchers! ~<3
Founder of ............ Co-Founder of
I'm a writer who lives life to the fullest. I write Hetalia fanfictions that are often very dark. My use of the "what if" factor is loved by many people. I not afraid to be different in my writings. Many say that my writings are very emotional and unique.
I'm also an artist. If I'm not writing then I'm drawling. I'm not the best artist but I'm proud of what I draw.
I try a lot to be close to my watchers. Some more than others but I do love them all! Hehe! ... I'll often write journals being open to them and to show them how and who I truly am.
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Internet friends that are my besties! AKA DA family.
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Somethings you need to know about me
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