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Depression feels like...Ever feel like your world is falling apart,
That all you wanted was a fresh start?
That you would cry and plead,
But you end up doing is bleed.
All of the sudden I feel trapped,
because depression kidnapped.
There's no way out or no escape,
my mind will never go back into shape.
While I'm broken and all eyes stared,
I promised that nothing will be shared.
As I slowly die,
Let me say my final goodbye.
The sane world that no one understands - Chapter 1I sat in the darkness, on the ledge for too long. 'When will I jump' ... 'When will I fall?' I looked down into the deep dark abyss, just waiting for something to call my name. Something to pull me into the world that I never wanted to embrace. The light use to call my name but in this little hell of mine, there is no light, none at all. The only light I have is the flame of fire that surrounds me. 'Maybe he was right, I shouldn't have of started this. This .... little hell of mine. It's so personalized that it still blows my mind.' I stood there on the ledge thinking about the fall. 'Will my life flash before my eyes, bringing the good feelings back, maybe even bring the good feelings that I once had?' I took one last breath and dove into the darkness that I have always known.
The fail was quick but relaxing, I knew the pain would stop after my body hit the ground. I grew a smile on my face, as I saw the ground was coming closer and closer. I greeted death with a
Losing the Revolutionary - chapter 9''Why ... He can't be gone. He just can't." America sobbed into his pillow. He couldn't believe that Britain was really gone. He couldn't believe that the other Counties would even agree on killing Britain. He then relaxed alittle while in his thoughts. He told keep telling himself to stop, he shouldn't be upset. After Britain has done to him, who couldn't blame him if he rejoiced alittle. But that wasn't the case, all America did was lay in bed crying all day long for the last couple of days.
"Al?" Canada opened the door sightly, coming for the hourly visit. Canada was horribly worried about his brother. 'All I wanted was America to be okay. I never wanted this, I didn't want Britain to die. I knew I should of told France about the visit between Britain and I' He thought to himself. But he kept his promise to Britain and never told anyone about the meeting. 'Wait?' He thought again. 'Did Britain really want to die? He was always a step ahead of any Country, no one could foo
The sane world that no one understands - Chapter 3I stood in the darkness. I shivered as the wind blow on me. I could barely see anything but enough to get around. I looked around to find nothing near me. I kept walking and walking, hoping to find something. I have this weird feeling that I have been here before but I'm lost. Wait? How did I get here again? I don't even remember that but that doesn't shock me. I've been forgetting a lot lately.
'Knock' ... 'Knock'
I stopped in my tracks when I heard a knocking sound behind me. Am I not alone in this darkness? Why does this seem so familiar?
'Knock' ... 'Knock'
There it was again. I'm not alone in this darkness. "Where are you?" I paused for a moment before speaking again. "Who are you?" I had a feeling that I was dealing with something unusual. "What are you?"
I heard chuckling from behind me. Did I dare to move? I knew it was coming closer and closer. I closed my eyes and shivered. I could feel goosebumps on my arms. Why does this feel so god damn familiar?
"Why so frightened?" The v
What art is to me.Art is made with a single motion
While I can hide my true emotions.
While everyone calls me a geek
Art is the true meaning to let me speak
When life doesn't treat me well
and all I want to do is yell.
Art will be my protection
because art is my connection.
The sane world that no one understands - Chapter 4I walked in the ash ground, I coughed from all the smoke still in the air. I couldn't see a thing that was surrounding me. I don't remember how I got here, everything was blank. I continued to walk in the smokey fog till I hit something. It was a building of some sort. I rubbed the brick like wall. I looked up to see several windows, probable a few stories. It was becoming clear of where I am. New York city. But why here? How did I get here? I heard a crash behind me. "Are you okay?" I yelled out, even though I didn't think anyone was there. Things became clearer now. I started to see more broken down buildings. "Why is everything to damaged?" I whispered to myself.
"Because your damaged, America." A British accent called out to me from smokey like fog.
Why him? Why now? "I'm not damaged." I said as I went to run but my body didn't move. I felt like hard cement was keeping me still. I took a shaky short breath knowing this wouldn't go well.
"Don't listen to that Frog face, France. He's
Where I went - Chapter 1 *updated*Alfred crawled on his bleeding, scratched up knees in the dark unknown forest. He was covered in his own blood from head to toe. He had no memory of what happened to him.
The only thing he could remember is a deep voice calling out to him, when he escaped the hell hole he's been in. He looked up and saw somebody in the far distance, who was calling out to him in the chilly fog.
"America~ Oh, America." The other called out to him. "You belong to me, da."
Was this the deep voice he heard earlier that night? Even before he could find out the answer that floated in his head... He fell to the cold ground. Passing out because of the blood lost that were due to his newly cut wounds.
Thoughts (Chapter Nine)- last chapterAs far as Riza was concerned, silence wasn't something that was a surprise when it came to her and Roy. A lot of their relationship, whatever kind it may be (at this point, Riza wasn't too sure), was draped in it. It was never unwelcoming or misplaced, however. Any time silence fell between the two, it always seemed to fall at just the right time, right when the colonel and the lieutenant needed it the most.
If there was a type of silence that Riza wasn't used to, though, it would have to be the charged silence that had fallen between them that night. Riza had returned to work that day and her and Roy had been forced to work late into the night to get things caught up (as Riza had suspected, not much had gotten doing in her absence). Due to the time of night, Roy had insisted on walking Riza home and, after a few failed attempts to convince Roy that she would be OK, that she was armed if she ran into anybody who meant her harm, Riza finally conceded to his offer. Now, as the two walked
Thoughts (Chapter Six)When Roy walked into Riza's hospital room and saw her sitting up in her hospital bed, the color already starting to return to her lips, he couldn't help but think that she was beautiful. This wasn't a new thought (on any given day, his mind would remark on the beauty of Riza Hawkeye at least once) but it was one of his first pleasant thought since this whole event began just one day ago.
Roy sat down in the chair next to her bed and smiled back to her. The two stayed that way for a while, neither of them saying anything for fear that they'd break whatever sliver of peace was over them at the moment. Roy mouthed "Hi" and Riza mouthed it back but that was all they did in terms of conversation during that calm. It was only after Riza frowned slightly and received a questioning look from Roy that she spoke, breaking the silence.
"I'm not going to let this happen again."
Roy's eyebrows knit together in confusion.
"Let what happen again?"
"This," Riza said, motioning to her abdomen. "I'm goi
Thoughts (Chapter five)'Is she OK right now?'
That's what Roy thought as he lay in his bed, tired but too charged with worry to sleep. When he had gotten back to his apartment (after a quick stop to Riza's apartment to pick up Black Hayate since Roy had no way of knowing how long she would be in the hospital. Luckily, he still had the copy of her apartment key that he had made years ago), the only thoughts that went through his mind were about Riza. He had faith that she would pull through but that didn't seem to quiet his thoughts. They were going at a million miles an hour, which was a contrast from the peace and stillness of his room. His eyes drifted to his window, where the stars filled the dark sky, just like always.
The stars made a memory suddenly pop into Roy's mind. It was of something that had happened when they were both teenagers. He had been seventeen and she had been about to turn sixteen, the two of them both still living with Master Hawkeye. It was a memory that Roy hadn't thought of in a lo
68 Intricacies- Chapter three- BrokenYou could call Roy and Riza many things. You could call them killers (that was the harsh truth), sinners (that was the opinion of those with faith), liars (that was only occasionally true), lovers (that was something that no could ever know was true) or dogs of the military (that was obvious), to name a few choices. There was one thing you couldn't call them, though.
What you couldn't call Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye was broken.
They were not broken, not by any means. Yes, they were shaken, bruised, battered, bent and stretched to their absolute limits but neither one was broken. While there had been many points when they thought they would crash and shatter into many painful little pieces with awful slivers attached, it never seemed to happen. You could say the reason was because of their pride or their absolute will not to break. Really, though, the strength they had to have to remain whole didn't come from something as potentially dangerous as pride or even from their own will (for
Thoughts (Chapter Three)'I don't think I've ever seen him so afraid.'
That's what Havoc thought as he waited in the hospital's waiting room with Roy. He couldn't help but go over all that had happened in what seemed like a short amount of time. Mustang and Havoc had been waiting for Hawkeye in the alley where she was to meet them when they heard the scream. Havoc had never seen his usually unshakeable commanding officer so afraid until that scream had pierced the air. It had been short, not even lasting for half of a minute before ending.
It was enough for Roy, though. He had immediately jumped to his feet and started toward where the scream had started, Havoc following after him after a few seconds' hesitation. Havoc had found it hard to keep up with the colonel, who seemed to be taking three steps every time Havoc took one.
When they had found her, bleeding and presumably unconscience, Havoc could see panic flood Roy's expression. When Roy had kneeled down beside Riza and started telling her to open her eye
68 Intricacies- Chapter two- BlindedAN: This takes place after the Promised Day but before Roy makes the deal with Dr. Marco to get his sight back, which is why I make some of the references that I do. Anyways, enjoy!
It never ceased to amaze Roy Mustang just how calm things can be after a catastrophe.
Take this night, for example. This was the night after the Promised Day, an event that was undoubtedly one of the most hellish experiences Roy had ever gone through. Despite all of the terror and bloodshed that daylight had brought, it was with the arrival of night that a strange, nearly peaceful feeling was gained. It was a deceptive type of peace, however, a peace that suggested that the entire day had been just like the night, that everything had been right with the world on this day.
Roy knew that wasn't the case. The day hadn't been peaceful at all. He had the eternal dark clouding his vision to prove it.
The memories of how he had ended up that way are still scarily vivid in his mind. He remembers being placed
Thoughts (Chapter Seven)'This is not going to be easy'
That's what Riza thought as she sat on the edge of her bed, using a towel to shake her wet hair dry. She'd been released from the hospital four days ago and tomorrow, ten days after this whole string of events began, she was going to go back to work and back to protecting to colonel (NOT Roy, Riza had to remind herself stubbornly; the two had gotten into the habit of calling each other by their first names while Riza was in the hospital). While she wasn't particularly hesitant to return, since she knew that nothing got done when she wasn't there, she also knew that it wouldn't be simple, at lease not when it came to the colonel. It wasn't just the casualness that would have to be broken somewhat abruptly that made it difficult. No, if that were solely the case, Riza would've resolved it in her mind already, not turning it over so many times like a dead leaf in the wind.
It was the fact that Riza didn't know if she could keep her feelings for Roy Mustang i
Thoughts (Chapter Two)'It wasn't supposed to end up like this'
That's what Riza thought as she lay on the ground, blood flowing around her like a river out of hell. This mission wasn't supposed to be dangerous. It was intended to be an information gathering mission in order to determine whether or not a group of rebels had plans to overthrow the military.
It had been a relatively simple task, something that Riza had noted in her head as she walked back to the point where she was to meet Colonel Mustang and Second Lieutenant Havoc. That is, until someone grabbed her from behind and slammed her up against a wall. She was able to scream before the attacker sliced a dagger through her abdomen, which silenced her. She fell to the ground as the attacker fled. Now, Riza was staring up at the cloudless sky, her awareness of the world around her slipping away. It wasn't long before she lost consciousness.
Riza wasn't sure how long she was out, if it was only a few minutes or if it was hours before she felt the sligh
Thoughts (Chapter Four)Darkness.
That's all Riza could see. She was not blind, she could see herself perfectly fine. No, it was the room itself that was dark, like someone had taken black paint and coated the entire room in the color, from the floor to the ceiling. Riza thought that such darkness would be like ink, that it would not equate to solid walls or a solid floor. Yet, they were somehow just that.
It was a darkness that Riza despised. Since the room was drenched in the unknown, she could not properly see her surroundings. Since the day she had decided she was going to protect Roy, she had conditioned herself to always be vigilant, to always know what was going on. This room, a room that could be hiding anything in its darkness, was the complete opposite of what she had gotten herself used to. The inability to be on the lookout and the complete vulnerability it placed on her was what made Riza hate the darkness.
This detest, however, didn't come without a strong dose of fear for the darkness. Riza kne
I don't want to say goodbyeI'll stay here alone,
As you fly off to the unknown.
I only have a simple wish,
That of course you'll miss.
I want you to be alive,
I'll wait for you to arrive.
But you say goodbye,
Before my very eyes.
Please hold me tight,
As I can never say goodnight.
To your precious soul,
That always kept me whole.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More